Everything's Waiting

I ACCOMPLISHED SOME STUFF TODAY. My word count is at 18378 and I'm feeling like I'm getting over the second-week rut and things are easier again. How? I had my character acknowledge in the story that she felt her life was in a rut. And then go, "I think when things really turned around for me was when..." and then introduced this entirely new plot line I hadn't thought up before.

I'm annoyed at my class register-ing. Some classes I'm supposed to take this semester -- and by some I mean HALF -- are available neither at my campus nor online. They're only available downtown. I can't get downtown. I thought that since my program is listed as being offered at my campus that means that THE ENTIRE PROGRAM IS OFFERED AT MY CAMPUS? Grrrrrrr. So now I'm in a weird situation and I need to talk to my advisor ASAP even though priority registration is already ending today boooo. So hope and pray that that goes well.

I heard on the Twitterz that today was the 3rd year anniversary of Spring Awakening's first performance for the public on Broadway (not their opening night but their first preview). Cah-razy. And it's only appropriate that msmoocow also linked me to some videos of Groff performing at a concert tonight.

I have mixed feelings on Groff in general -- he is such a strange man in that he flops between being really attractive and unattractive all the time. I remember... I swear we must've thought he was really cute as Melchior back in the day, and then by the time he left the show we didn't think so anymore. I don't know. And he doesn't even have that great of a voice, really, it's pretty unremarkable I feel. (And also very theater which makes me wonder what the hell he's going to be like on Glee.)

But I think there's just something about him that is so... charming. I don't know how many of you I showed, but there's a video where the comedian Demetri Martin is going on about how incredible Groff is that he's one of those people that "makes you feel like you're the only one in the room." I owe a lot to Groff, I think, because I've developed such a fascination with Melchior over the years, and I think we watched 6/9 and listened to 12/18 so many times that no matter how many men play Melchior and how well they do with him (and Groff is really somewhere in the middle of my favorites) a part of Jon Groff will always be Melchior to me. (Even if that part is a bit of a creeper.) Same for all those actors in the OBC -- such an effing talented group of kids, really, geeze. And now John Jr is in the Green Day musical, American Idiot, which is coming to Broadway. And I go around LJ and see people with Lea Michele as their icons that have probably never seen her play Wendla. Three years ago I don't think we could've imagined these things.

THAT MAKES ME WANT TO REWATCH 6/9 SOMETIME. LET'S PARTY THAT SOMETIME, GUYS.

Anyway. Video for the day.



I'm also obsessed with the voice of the woman he's dueting with in that video. Gorgeous.

I WROTE A LITTLE TODAY.

Pathetically not enough, but I wrote SOMETHING. Unfortunately I couldn't go to the write in because it was too much of a hassle for Mom to pick me up and such :(

AT LEAST the worst part of my week is over and over the weekend I have no excuses not to be productive.

My word count is now 12292.

IN OTHER NEWS I've been listening to Hello Hurricane, Switchfoot's new CD. OVER 10 YEARS AND THEY ARE STILL KICKING ASS. And Jon Foreman is still one of my favorite songwriters ever. The first standout song to me (besides Mess of Me and The Sound which I already was familiar with) is "Yet".

Yeah, if it doesn't break your heart it isn't love
Now if it doesn't break your heart it's not enough
It's when you're breaking down with your insides coming out
It's when you find out what your heart is made up of

Very "The Beautiful Letdown."

ALSO "Always" which was the song whose preview clip thing on their vlog made me most excited for this album.

In other other news, several things:

1) HSOWA lmao what
2) I've been OBSESSED with Regina Spektor's cover of Hallelujah and also School Is Out (again).
3) MELCHIOR
4) My e-mail is being weird today. Just a warning. I'm getting e-mails from like this morning trickling in still (not just LJ e-mails, all e-mails) and haven't gotten some LJ notifications yet, and may not be getting new ones on time either -- right after writing this I just got a notification from around 2 PM on the 11th. It's currently around 6 am on the 12th. Yeah.
5) I think that's all I wanted to share

People of my flist...

I am a horrible, horrible person.

I didn't write today. The document has been sitting open all evening (and into the early morning) untouched.

Even the guilt of this blog of my progress was not guilt enough.

AND IT'S STILL WEEK ONE. Sigh.

Tomorrow I will write. Tomorrow I will not only write but I will catch up to where I'm supposed to be for the 6th (10k!). I have no school and so no excuses. You will come yell at me if I'm not writing, right?

Rent commercial just came on the radio. One of these times I'm going to count the number of times they say "Adam and Anthony" in it.

I did get a lot done in the way of school-y things today (well... I have a bit of -- OH MAN I was supposed to submit an essay in Blackboard but forgot, I'll go do that now -- work I really need to do and haven't started yet...) even if I did that instead of writing and it wasn't urgent.

Speaking of school I have to write an essay on a controversial topic (SERIOUSLY HOW MANY OF THOSE HAVE I WRITTEN IN MY SCHOOL LIFE? SIGH.) I'm doing... abstinence-only vs comprehensive sex education. Unfortunately I don't think "SPRING AWAKENING!!!" alone works as an argument against abstinence-only sex education in my English class like it does in every day conversation in my life. I also don't think my teacher will appreciate if I cite seeing Spring Awakening three times in my Bibliography.

When I wake up I'm writing. When I wake up I'm writing. When I wake up I'm writing.

Arqueete *naf says:
*JUST IMAGINE
Jaymee says:
*I WANT A SNOWGLOBE WITH MELCHIOR IN THE WOODS
Arqueete *naf says:
*THE SNOWGLOBES
Jaymee says:
*RUNNING
*FOR DAYS
Arqueete *naf says:
*OH GOD XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd
*WHAT MUSIC WOULD IT PLAY?
Jaymee says:
*IDK, BUT IT'D BE ON THE WORLD'S TINIEST VIOLIN
*AND IT'D BE SOME EMO SHIT
Arqueete *naf says:
*XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd
Jaymee says:
*MAYBE DEATH CAB

GUUUUUUYS WE JUST BOUGHT ON STAGE SEATS FOR SA.

I'm so excited you don't even know. LET ME SHOW YOU WHERE I'M SITTING.

( Seating chart )

Rachelle and I are going to take BB 14 and 12, and my sister, mom, and cousin will take BB 2, 4, and 6.

My dad... I don't even know what he'll do when he finds out. He doesn't know we have tickets for Saturday, either. This is like over $400 worth of Spring Awakening tickets right now and he's freaking out that Bertha is even going to Homecoming and just goes on and on about how he doesn't know about his job and we're not cutting back enough and such-and-such person he knows didn't give their kids any birthday or Christmas gifts for the past 5 years and he already groans about me and how I'm lazy and I don't help out enough around the house and how are we going to pay these school loans anyway YOU GET THE PICTURE.

I'm trying not to think about it. Lately I feel like I've been sleeping constantly and had I don't even know what that was with the back problems and the near panic attack last week and I haven't been keeping up with RP or really... anything productive. I think I have a bit of an anxiety problem. I only go to school three days a week but when I go to school I'm constantly on edge and then I come home and constantly fret about whether I really am lazy and useless and about these tickets and money and -- it's not my money, obviously I don't have a job or anything, but that makes it 10 times worse because... it's not my money. So who am I to ask for any when I don't contribute anything substantial to the household, monetary or effort-wise?

And though it feels like my paranoia about spending money is being practical I don't think it is. I think it is just another thing on top of how I'm still mildly stressed out just by being in college, even after almost a month now, just because it's a new place where I hardly know anyone. A lot of my life, or so it feels, has been spent feeling awful about things but just forcing myself to do them anyway because I felt awful about feeling awful (and then there was the swim unit in PE, which is an example of when I sucked it up and instead of FEELING STRONGER FOR OVERCOMING MY FEARS! as every TV show aimed at kids will tell you and was what I was going for, I got instead taught that if I push my anxious feelings too far I will have some sort of breakdown).

But I wanted this. I want this. I'm like tearing up talking about it (and I'm not even PMSing :|). Everyone knows how obsessed I am with Spring Awakening and have been for so long and... I got to see PART of it in Chicago (and then there's the added weight and embarrassment of the fact that my family is unable to be on time for anything, which is another stress factor in my life)... And it was still so wonderful, even missing like half the first act. But it's coming right by me, and I have this opportunity to not only see it again with my best friend AND my family, the whole thing, but also to sit on stage... I want to do this. I want to let myself be excited about it and happy about it and at least, for a little while, just... be that. Be happy. And not guilt-stricken.

It's going to be wonderful. I want something to be wonderful and not have it blow up in my face and not be afraid to expect it will be wonderful. I'm sure I'm being overdramatic and just venting in response to being stressed lately, but sometimes, sometimes, I just want everything to go like I want it to go, because I feel like I get screwed over too much on a day to day basis and emotionally it's a non-stop struggle to deal with... life.

Today I did get a chance to sit by the pond at school and watch the ducks splashing around. I like the pond and I like sitting outside when I have time. It's just... nice. I can just watch duckies and how cute they are and how they duck their heads under the water with their little feathery behinds in the air and life seems funnier and not such serious business.

On a related note, I might feel better if I sell off the dolls I have so far. I have Ilse, Martha, and Anna. They're about... 5 inches high I estimate without a ruler. Would anyone be interested? I could probably sew more but I don't want to commit myself as, like I said, I've been completely unproductive lately... unless someone offered me a decent sum of money to make them one.

So, Spring Awakening, my favorite musical of the moment (still), is shockingly coming near me very soon. I'm part of a street team trying to spread the word about this show, and so for those who haven't CAUGHT ON OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS I'm going to do a nice little run down of what exactly this show is about, why it's my favorite musical of the moment, and for those on my flist who I know from high school, etc., where and when it's going to be here so YOU CAN GO GET TICKETS AND SEE THE THING WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

( WHAT THIS IS AND WHY I LIKE IT )



Spring Awakening will be at the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts (that is, in downtown Milwaukee -- for you out-of-state flisters, here's the tour schedule) from October 6th through the 11th. You can look at more info about the show and the cast and vidoes at the Spring Awakening website and more about SA at the Marcus specifically at their Spring Awakening page. Spring Awakening is also on YouTube with lots of cute videos from the touring cast, MySpace, Facebook, Flickr, AND Twitter.

[15] Press Photo Icons for Spring Awakening Broadway and London
[02] Spring Awakening Wallpapers (each in 1024x768 or 1680x1050)

Teasers:



See them all and newly-organized archives of old graphics at my new-fangled comm loveuntilwedie

All further icons and other graphic posts will now be made at loveuntilwedie

So, Arq, you haven't been busy making icons lately, so what HAVE you been doing?

I'VE BEEN MAKING WALLPAPERS.

See, I've been hounded by Windows Genuine Advantage for some time now and it's a bit of a betch and wouldn't let me have a desktop background. Now I can have one, so naturally, I made myself one, and then I found I sort of liked messing around with a huge area. So I decided to expand the world of Spring Awakening desktop backgrounds.

[7] Icons from my last batch that didn't get posted on accident
[2] 800x600 wallpapers
[8] 1024x768 wallpapers
[3] 1280x800 wallpapers
[2] 1680x1050 wallpapers

Teasers:



( Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before )

I SAW SPRING AWAKENING.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. After loving this musical for over... three years now, I think, I have finally seen the darn thing live. WITH RACHELLE (prosopopeya) TO BOOT. AND we stagedoored which is the first time I've stagedoored anything.

( REVIEWIN AND STAGE DOOR PICS AND SUCH )

[15] Spring Awakening text only Icons
[23] Spring Awakening Icons (various casts)
[11] A Very Potter Musical text only icons
[8] In the Heights text only icons

Teasers:


( You're tall and fun and skinny, you're really, really, pretty... uh... Ginny... )

Okay, so... I posted this fic at FFN a while ago... and I'll admit it was mostly a reaction to the kind of SA fic that is posted at FFN. There's an obsession with Hanschen/Ernst over there and a lot of fluff with them and it's sort of bugged me from the time I started posting fic there. Because I never saw them that way in canon, though they had never really interested me enough (canon couples don't tend to) to poke around and decide what I actually feel about them. So after wordwarring with msmoocow (WHO IS BETTER THAN SHE THINKS SHE IS) and distant_flicker (whose stuff is so deliciously dark), I ended up writing this. And I thought I'd finally post it.

Title: Easy
Fandom: Spring Awakening (musical)
Rating: PG
Words: 850
Pairing: Hanschen/Ernst
Summary: He was too scared to acknowledge it too much, to believe it was reality, because when it became reality and not a fairytale it was easier to see the end.

( It's easier than love )

I was rereading this fic tonight and there were several things that really bothered me about it and so I feel the need to go back and fix them, as otherwise it's one of my favorite SA fics I've written...

Title: I Want To Know That My Heart's Still Beating
Fandom: Spring Awakening (general)
Rating: PG
Words: 1463
Pairing: Mildly Melchior/Moritz -- possibly onesided
Summary: To how much he wanted, some days, to grab that slightly fragile form and shake it, to scream at Moritz and get it into his head how sick Melchior was of seeing him lying on his bed in a ball like a dejected child, refusing to put forth more effort to fix himself.
Notes: Dedicated to rawrfoo
Original Posting Here

( Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain )

[98] Spring Awakening Icons ("[actor] as [character] is love")

TEASERS:



( The clouds will drift away )

[1-6] Chess
[7-13] Regina Spektor lyrics
[13-20] Spring Awakening lyrics
[21-91] Spring Awakening Broadway icons
[92-95] Spring Awakening animated icons

Teasers:


( I've crossed over borders but I'm still there now )

So, GTC, my little online project, is doing SA again. And I'm overhauling the script as there are many things I wasn't pleased with last time we did it.

msmoocow and I were talking about SA off-Broadway tonight -- and how there are some really great things (ANNA'S REPRISE ANYONE?) that we wish hadn't been cut. Previously I'd been talking to someone else from the GTC who said that we should bring back There Once Was A Pirate in our version.

Which leads to the reality that, you know, we have no obligation to follow the show as it was on Broadway. We can do whatever the hell we want with it.

If you could reconstruct Spring Awakening -- bring back cut songs, cut certain songs, etc -- how would YOU change it? What do you think GTC should do with it -- are there things you think we could change or bring back to make it more entertaining for a text-only online audience?

Also, right now it's a 9 actor show (Melchior, Wendla, Moritz, Ilse, Hanschen, Ernst, Martha, Adult Men, Adult Women) and I don't want to add in a 10th actor but I'd really like to bring back Thea (in the script as it was, Wendla took most of her lines), so if anyone wants to help me brainstorm ways to do that that'd be great. (Basically, we have 9 people available throughout the show -- they don't necessarily need to be playing the same character at all times, but they can't (technically they can, but I'm not willing to write the script that way) play more than one character at once, and it helps if they have a decent chunk of time to switch characters if necessary)

Amy says:
If someone asked me to put together a production of SA for Vienna, I would just incorporate sausages into it.
Amy says:
"Here Moritz, let me roll you... a SAUSAGE."
Arqueete *naf says:
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

SO I MADE ANIMATED ICONS.

As you may know, LJ is not very friendly with its filesize limit on icons, so I've got LJ-friendly ones and some non-LJ friendly original ones, too.

TEASERS:

( A song of purple summer at the heart of everything )

So, I was going to try and sing MWBM and BW tonight... and I ended up hating those (I have such issues with getting the rhythms right in the second verses of both of those songs idk). I randomly recorded what most SA fans know as Anna's Reprise (which is really like... Mama Who Bore Me second reprise and Touch Me reprise), and I ended up liking it better, even though there's some bits that are a little off.

SO I THOUGHT I'D LET YOU HEAR IT FOR ONCE.


(http://www.divshare.com/download/6519646-53a)

I really accomplished nothing I wanted to accomplish today, though. I had a to-do list. I finished nothing on it.

Patta *naf says:
wtf r u talkin about socha killed sa socha is the reason that sa closed socha is the reason why broadway is closing socha is the reason why global warming exists as it does in its current state
Sarah *naf says:
o rite
Arqueete *naf says:
:(